Monster, Rage, Salt and Fire = Sanjay

Today I was pulling into the Walmart parking lot and one of my favorite college songs was spinning... Monsters and Angels by Voice of the Beehive. Before heading out on Saturday night, my roommates and I would play this track and sing along. The lyrics go like this, “There are monsters there are angels, there's a peacefulness and a rage inside us all. There is sugar, there is salt... there is ice and there is fire in every single heart there are monsters there are angels”. Lovely song, but little did I know that it was foreshadowing my trip inside the Walmart.

Sanjay has been sniffly... coming off a cold... maybe he was tired... alright, I'm just stretching for some excuse here. For some reason today, everything brought the rage out of him. Walking in the doorway, he catches sight of the McDonald's and insists that we stop for something to eat. I remind him that he has just had breakfast and we are not going in there for a bite. Something comes out of him that we usually only get the privilege of seeing in the privacy of our own home. He begins to cry, yell, scream... tell me “No”... all of this loud enough so that many eyes are now watching us. I manage to get him to continue through the store with me for the one thing we came for... poster board for Priya's school project. While standing in the craft isle, I choose the blue poster board... unfortunately, Sanjay thinks the 5th blue poster board down in the pile is better and he starts reaching for it. I tell him that I already have one and “let's go”. Now, the fire and salt start spilling out of the boy... he is literally uncontrollable with his yelling and anger. He's saying, actually shouting, “Mommy, you are so bad!” as I'm walking a few paces in front of him to the checkout so we can escape.

His behavior was similar to this video clip from a couple of years ago... only magnified because he's now 2 years older and talking.



He does have this dual personality of sorts. The boy can be so charming and so sweet and so lovable... then there are times when really it doesn't matter what you say to him, the anger remains and he's just plain ugly. This is the first time the public has seen Sanjay's rage and hopefully it's the last. I wish there was someway I could apologize to this morning's Walmart patrons for having to witness that.