I Won the Lottery, Just Not the One I Wanted to Win

In gambling, you see the statistics declaring your chances of being a winner. Some odds are better than others, so you play. Some stakes are higher than others, so you play. This gambling also takes place in the medical field, but it's not always your choice whether to play or not. 

I went in for a routine colonoscopy (Happy 50th Birthday to me!) on Friday afternoon and within 24 hours I was in the Emergency Room.  I was the 1 out of 5000 patients that came out of the procedure with a perforated bowel.  Winner!  

When I left the office I had no idea that anything was wrong. The doctor informed me that she had removed some polyps and that the pathology report would be back in about a week. She sent me on the way, resuming my regular diet and to call if I was experiencing anything other than the mild symptoms listed on the discharge paper.

By the morning I was feeling a little bloated and crampy. As this was my first colonoscopy I wasn't really sure what to expect so I thought it was normal. As the day went on my mobility decreased and the pain worsened. I was also very tired, so I went to take a nap. Bartee went out to run some errands. The pain was too intense for me to sleep, so I called the number on the discharge sheet and spoke with the on call GI doc from my practice (not the one who did the procedure). When I described the pain and he compared that with my chart, he recommended going to the ER to get a CT scan so we could see what exactly was going on inside. He would call ahead and speak with the doctors there. 

I checked in to the ER, stopped briefly at triage and they sent me to the waiting room with about 3-4 other patients. By now the pain was unbearable. I was in a wheelchair squirming, crying, yelling out in pain and feeling weird that all these other people were having to watch this. We had overheard that one couple had been waiting an hour, so Bartee went to check if they could give us an estimate. There were no available beds and no estimated time could be given. I looked at him and said, "There's no way I can wait another hour". A quick Google search revealed another nearby ER with a wait time of 14 mins, so we headed there. I now realize that Crown Crest Blvd is riddled with cracks. I felt every one of them. 

This ER took me right in and as soon as possible hooked up an IV, drew some blood and pumped me with morphine. No visitors allowed here, so Bartee had to stay in the car. We communicated via text and he was relieved to hear how quickly they got me to a bed and started assessing the situation. Right away they sent me for a CT scan which revealed that air had leaked outside my colon. This was an indication that it had been punctured during the procedure. He said that I would very likely need surgery, but their main campus was better equipped with specialized doctors to do that. I was transported via ambulance to the other location and went straight to room 439 where I would stay for the next 5 days.

At the new hospital, I was allowed visitors but not until the morning (it was after 10pm when I arrived). The first few days are a blur as the pain was so intense that I was on morphine around the clock which left me a little out of it. 

The surgeon immediately ordered another CT scan with contrast, this time to find out exactly where the hole was located.  This might be TMI, but it was essentially a +100ml enema that was injected before the images were taken. While I was downstairs getting the procedure, the surgeon came to my room and talked to Bartee about the possible outcomes. The best scenario would be that the hole is small enough and my body would heal itself, given time.  The next best scenario is that the hole is small enough to be repaired by surgery.  The worst case scenario is that the hole is large and the surgery would end up leaving me, at least temporarily, with a colostomy bag.  He was scared and I was glad I wasn't around to hear what the surgeon had to say.  I knew the situation was serious and that was keeping me from Googling the possible outcomes.  I wanted to just trust that I was in good hands with these docs and honestly I was in too much pain to really think of anything but that.  

Very quickly we had the CT scan results.  The surgeon explained that he was feeling optimistic.  Bartee and I had a sigh of relief.  Apparently the contrast solution hadn't leaked outside the colon at all, indicating that my body had already started the repair process.  So he wanted to wait and see, but warned me that he would be watching very closely and if there were any signs, he would not hesitate to rush me into emergency surgery.  They were closely monitoring my temperature, pain level and white blood cell count.  He put me on "bowel rest" which means that I could not eat or drink anything including water.  He said that it's safe to do this for up to 7 days.  Of course, I stayed hydrated and medicated through IV while this was going on.  So we waited...

Within a couple of days my white blood cell count was still a bit elevated, but lower than the level when I was admitted.  The antibiotics were working!  My pain level was decreasing although I still had isolated attacks.  I continued to ask for morphine when it was available to me, but I was getting better.  The surgeon saw this and moved me to a clear liquid diet (essentially broth and juice).  If my body tolerated that without any negative changes, then we would move to Full Liquid and then Solids.  Over the next 48 hours I went through those diet changes and my body didn't reject the food.  On the final day I transitioned from the IV medications to oral and that would be everything needed to be ready for discharge.  

I have been home a little more than 24 hours and the pain has significantly decreased.  The first night at home was a little rough with the pain, but being here was better than being in the hospital bed.  I feel so fortunate to have come out of this without surgery.

Looking back on my time at the hospital some of the best hours were spent with Priya by my side binge watching Clickbait.  She has been slowly watching all her friends move off to college, a bit jealous of their adventures and impatient to get started on her own.  It turns out that having her stick around here a bit longer was a blessing in disguise for me.  She was there for me in so many ways while at the hospital and now at home.  I'm really going to miss her!

My sister and I had coordinated a family night out at a Rockies game.  It had been on the calendar for many weeks and the date fell during my hospital stay.  They went ahead without me and we exchanged photos that night.  It really lifted my spirits to receive all the texts from them.  Hopefully my hospital selfie was as well-received.  LOL

Thank you to everyone that checked in on me and stopped by to see me.  I have great friends and family indeed.  I appreciate you more than you know. 

Tribute to Moorthy Mama

We received the sad news from India today that Bharathi's uncle, the youngest of 3 siblings, passed away. He was only 59 and died of complications due to diabetes which started with kidney failure a couple of months ago. He's been fighting in the hospital for a while and we all thought he'd pull through, but tragically he lost the battle. It hit me hard because he was far too young. His life was cut short and his children had just started families of their own.

Life will go on for everyone as it must, but I wanted to take the time to reflect on Moorthy Mama and the impressions he left with me during the two times that I met him.

The first time we met was about 10 years ago in 2003 during my first trip to India. He was full of energy, very funny, wearing a cool hat and sporting the traditional South Indian moustache.



He was eager to meet us and if my memory serves me correctly he was one of the first relatives that made a visit to Bharathi's childhood home to see us. I specifically remember the first instant we met face to face. He took a look at me and said something like "You're not as big as I thought you'd be". LOL. Until then he had only seen photos of the American daughter-in-law and Indians are not generally discreet about letting you know if you've got a few pounds to drop. Something that's basically taboo in America is commonplace in India. I'm not the type to be easily offended so I brushed it off. In fact, it brings a certain feeling of closeness when you can be that open with someone. I'm glad he was comfortable enough to say it.

Priya instantly fell in love with him and because Moorthy Mama was a mouthful to say, she found it easier to call him "Funny Uncle". It stuck and I'm pretty sure Moorthy Mama enjoyed the new nickname. Here they are enjoying a moment together.



During this visit we celebrated Diwali with the whole family and had a grand time.

The next time we went to India (Jan 2007) we had both children with us so Sanjay met "Funny Uncle" and like Priya was instantly smitten. The purpose of the second trip was for Moorthy Mama's daughter's wedding. It was my first time experiencing an Indian wedding and I'm glad it was with close family. He was so gracious to include me in as many and as much of the ceremony as possible. He really made an effort to make me feel like part of the family that day. He was so busy and had so many things to coordinate that he needn't have given me so much special attention, yet he did. I will never forget that.





Throughout the years since we met, Moorthy Mama kept in touch with us. Every once in a while I received an email from him about his latest business venture. He was such an entrepreneur. Most recently we connected through Viber where he sent photos of the family and even tried to make a voice call once when I was not on WIFI. The connection was very flaky but we managed a little back and forth banter before the call was dropped. I appreciated his effort to get to know me and stay in touch. I'm gonna miss Funny Uncle!

The most unfortunate thing is that Amma (my mother-in-law) is dealing with a double loss. She lost her mother about 6 months ago and now her youngest brother. I wish we were closer to offer support, but fortunately she has a boatload of friends and family that I know will take good care of her.

Bartee and Sanjay made a quick trip to India in Sept 2013 where he was able to see both his grandmother and his uncle for the last time.



RIP Funny Uncle - you will be missed.

First Visit to the USA

As I type this, my brother-in-law and his family are on their way back home to Kuwait after a month long stay in the US. Bartee has one brother and one sister and they managed for the first time since 2004 to be together again. Before that, it was 1997 when they met in the UK. It's hard when you live so far apart. Trips half way around the world involve a lot of planning and trying to coordinate 3 families is tough. These times together with family are so special and I feel so grateful that I was part of it this time.

I am convinced after hearing of their travels that my brother-in-law is the master planner. He and his family have seen more of this country than most that live here. I promise you. They first landed in San Francisco where they stayed with another relative for about 10 days. There they drove part of the Pacific Coast Highway, visited Yosemite National Park, toured San Francisco and various other nearby towns and tourist stops. They spent a few days in Los Angeles, CA visiting Disneyland. From LA they headed over to Las Vegas. There they toured the casinos and took a day trip to the Grand Canyon. From Las Vegas, they flew to Colorado to stay with us for 10 days. We took them to Vail, Breckenridge, Glenwood Springs for the Hanging Lake hike, Garden of the Gods in Colo Spgs and to the top of Pikes Peak via cog railway. Of course we couldn't miss the Denver hot spots like the Coors Factory tour, the Celestial Tea Seasonings tour, Red Rocks Park and Amphitheatre, Denver Botanic Gardens and the Nature and Science Museum. From here they boarded a plane to Buffalo, NY to see Niagara Falls. From Buffalo, they flew to New York for the Statue of Liberty, Rockefeller Center, Wall Street, the 9/11 Memorial and of course, Times Square. While in New York, they zipped down to Washington, DC via bus for a day trip which included the Smithsonian and the White House. I *think* they pretty much covered all the highlights here in the US.













I found it fascinating that my brother-in-law and I both share in the fun of memory making through photos. Usually I'm the one getting the evil eye from my kids when they have had enough of the camera pointing their way. It was harder for them to fight off both of us! I keep thinking they will thank me later and that's exactly what came to mind each time I asked the three adult siblings to hop in a photo together during their visit. Here are some of the best shots...




It was a bit like "Sister Wives" around here with 9 people in the house to cook and clean for. Imagine the amount of laundry. Luckily for me, I have the most fantastic sister-in-laws. They are both excellent cooks and jump at every opportunity to help clean around the house. We worked well together planning meals and reminding each other of things we'd planned as our over-40 minds are all getting a little forgetful. It ran like a well-oiled machine while they were around. Look at these lovely ladies...



No doubt we have some great photos of the landmarks, but some of my favorite images from their visit are in a folder which I've labeled "Around The House". These are the times we spent together, not sightseeing but just simply enjoying each other's company. We miss you guys already!







On the day that we went to the top of Pikes Peak, Sanjay drew a caricature drawing of all of us with a mountain and train background. I love the way that he picked out certain features to highlight. Check out his hair! Uncle Sri has a moustache, I have the high ponytail, his girl cousins have glasses and Aunt Aparna is wearing her bindi. He made copies for all the tourists to take home and he didn't charge an arm and a leg for them. A special keepsake of their time in Colorado.

End of an Era - Elementary School

Fifth grade just started yesterday, no?  How can it be over already? This was Priya's final year in elementary school where she participated in her last Family Dance, last field day, last Halloween Volksmarch, last school play and last Lynx Laps ever as an elementary student. Because of this I have documented in photos the past nine months more than the previous five years put together.

Throughout the six years, she has maintained some of the same friendships that she built in kindergarten. A couple of those close friends left this school for another and it looks like they will be reunited in middle school. Some friendships have been built, broken down and rebuilt. She has watched friendships form as an outsider sometimes feeling jealous that she wasn't picked. Within a week they would "break up" and another BFF friendship would be formed right in front of her longing eyes. She was part of some of these friendships as well, but in her mind not often enough. She wishes for what she doesn't have like most girls trying to find their way. She wants blonde hair and blue eyes no matter how many people share their adoration for her big, brown eyes and thick, wavy dark hair.

Since third grade she has slowly been loosening her dependence on me to where she now won't even make eye contact when she's with a group of her friends.  She's far too cool for that.  As much as it's been a battle this year with her up and down emotions and love/hate relationship with me, she has started to confide in me about issues at school with friends, with teachers.  Sometimes good stories.  Sometimes bad.  She seeks my advice often. I really appreciate this and tell her that I hope she can always feel comfortable coming to me with any issue and I will be there to listen at the very least. I feel my parenting is on the line so much more today than it was 6 years ago. The mistakes I make now are so much more noticed and I fear that I may steer her in the wrong direction. Am I saying the right things? I have my doubts most of the time but I hope that just having regular discussions with her and keeping the lines of communication open will help both of us maintain a healthy relationship through these next very tough teenage years.

She has grown so much physically and emotionally since kindergarten. The physical growth is obvious  with photographic evidence, but the emotional growth is hard to capture. I wish there were a way. In the meantime with my addiction to photo-journaling, I have managed to document her physical growth over the past six years.  If you are so inclined, please check out the video of her Elementary School days.



It was difficult to narrow it down to these images and keep it under the time of a full-length movie.  I wanted to include some video as well, but I just had way too much footage and too many photos.  From the first day of kindergarten alone I had 77 images from which to choose! I also spent far too much time searching the Internet and my personal music collection for the perfect song. After a few late nights on the computer with no luck, I was on a treadmill at the gym and Rod Stewart was performing his new song "Can't Stop Me Now" on Good Morning America.  Nothing could be more perfect! I knew instantly that I was going to use it but four minutes wasn't going to be enough to cover six years of photographs.  The next day I read a blog that mentioned the latest Sara Bareilles song "Brave". This seemed like a great fit as well so it made the cut and the slideshow came together.

We celebrate her continuation tomorrow where she will be singing in the choir and I will be crying hysterically in the audience. She will grow up and I have to let her... it's a fact of life. My little girl, show me how big your brave is! You can tackle anything. They can't stop you now!

14 Years - Togetherness

More than 14 years ago, I fell in love with your...

• generosity.
• skills in the kitchen.
• love of adventure.
• sense of humor.
• appreciation of nature.
• Indian accent.
• intelligence and leadership.
• cute little wink.

Today I love your...

• amazing skills at fatherhood.
• ability to put up with my short temper and high demands.
• willingness to sacrifice so much to provide for the family.
• emphasis on athleticism as our 40+ year old bodies age together.
• dedication to our marriage.
• Indian accent to which you're still hanging on.

Happy Anniversary my Love!  I know we can count on many more years of happiness and laughter ahead of us.

Perhaps another 14+ years from now? A glimpse into our future?? Hahaha

Priya, My Little Author

She is quite the writer. It's no surprise as she's always been a big reader. It's definitely her favorite pastime. She tells me that she likes to write stories in her head; generating new plot lines daily, most likely based off her vivid and sometimes frightening dreams. Occasionally I will catch her daydreaming and she justifies it by telling me that she is writing a new story in her mind.

In her story writing she impresses me with her ability to capture the audience. I love the casual writing style and her humor as well. Here are two recent examples of her writing.

For girl scouts she had to find a picture of herself with others. She then had to write a story about the photo from the perspective of someone in the photo other than herself. She chose this photo of her first haircut and wrote the story as if she were the hairdresser.




"Oh, goodness", I say with a sigh, "Second day as a hairdresser and I already get paired up with a toddler". Just my luck, I think. She is wailing as I start cutting. SNAP! SNAP! Mom is taking a bunch of pics. Must be the kid's first haircut. Oh the memories. And I thought this was going to be a laid back job. The kid is squirming around so much I'm afraid I'm gonna cut her. Oh well, my life just gets easier and easier. Anyway, at the end of the hair cut she calms down. SNAP! Mom just got one of her pouty face. Well they are leaving now. GTG.

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This next one was a school project where they had to tell about a lesson learned. It did not have to be a true story. Her story is called "Never Make a Shark Angry!".

My name is Avery and I hope you learn a lot from this message. The story starts when I was 4. I didn't care much for rules, and when my family reached the aquarium I was sure I would feed a shark.

My brother, Ryan, was 7 at the time and he thought he knew everything. My sister, Skylar, was 12 and she told me that it was against the rules to feed the sharks. My parents didn't know of my plan.

Anyways when we got to the aquarium, my brother wanted to see the sting rays and jelly fishes. After that Skylar insisted on seeing the dolphins. Then Ryan coaxed my dad into taking him to the whale show. The whole family was dragged along to that. Skylar recalled mom saying the family would go see the seahorses, so we all did that. After a while, I got tired of wandering around. "I want to see the sharks!", I blurted. My family looked at me as if they hadn't noticed me before. "Alright dear", said my mother.

Soon enough, I found myself standing in front of the shark tank. My brother and sister were drawn to a tank across the hall. My mom and Dad went over to see what they were looking at. This was my chance!

While my family was distracted, I took a piece of bread from my sandwich and waved it over the shark tank.

Right now you are probably wondering if I have brain disease or something. I don't.

Anyways, the shark was looking at me hungrily. Suddenly, the shark leaped out of the tank and devoured me. At least I was still alive.

I pounded on the side of the shark. He wouldn't budge. Meanwhile, outside of the shark's mouth, people were probably panicking. Suddenly, the shark let go of me and spit me out.

UGH! Gross!

At least I'm fine. Well, let this be a lesson never to make a shark mad!

Chess Club

The elementary school offers a variety of after school clubs and being the social butterfly that Sanjay is, he opted to join the Fitness, Lego Robotics and Chess clubs. As it turns out, he absolutely loves Chess club. He has been going for several months now and each time he recaps his games, his record and the new strategies that he learned. A few times he has said, "I'm gonna try that move on Daddy". As a child, I never learned to play Chess so I think I'm going to need to step it up. I played my first game with him a few weeks ago and he's teaching me the game. Slowly but surely I am learning and may even be a mediocre competitor for him. He got a competition chess board for his birthday this year on which he's already enjoyed several games with Daddy and even a few with Priya.

Chess club lasts for several months through the end of January. After that the students are asked to stay by invitation only to continue practicing their skills so that they might compete in tournaments for the school district. Imagine Sanjay's delight when we received the email from the chess club moderator that he was invited to continue on. I wish I had captured the smile on his face. He still needs to make one more cut to actually compete in the tournament. Only 3 players are allowed at each grade level and I think there are currently 5 second graders in the club. Until then, it's practice, practice, practice!